I have a question for you. I don’t mean to pry with this question. And the question may be difficult for you. Here goes. How hard is it to love yourself? Often it seems that we are hardest on ourselves.
We struggle to let go of the misspoken word that harmed another by hurting their feelings, or worse cost them a friendship, promotion at work, or being accepted by a group of friends or co-workers. We struggle with forgiving ourselves. We may wonder “if another knew what I was really like, what my past held, would they really still love me?” We know our imperfections and our missteps in relationships.
In addition to self-love, some find it hard to truly believe that we are deeply loved. That we are God’s beloved child. A cherished, forgiven, and unique person invited to live set free from our former ways of self-perception, bondage, and the entrapment of our heart’s woundedness.
The Scripture
As Paul reminds the people of Galatia of the importance of self-love, he warns them in Galatians 5:1 and 5:13-26 to not be self-indulgent with their love. It is so very easy for anyone to slip into self-indulgent love. Just the other day, I was busy all day teaching online and yet there was a restlessness with me from sitting at the computer screen all day. I found myself eating chips, pretzels, and grapes, all day long. Did my body need that junk food? No. Self-indulgence!
Paul speaks about how easy it is to slide into self-indulgent love. From jealousy, anger, bitterness, to self-centered desires that harm others through “repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community” (The Message Galatians 5:19-21)
We are to love ourselves and yet constantly, consistently be on the watch for how to love others through our words and actions to lead them to true freedom in Christ. We have been set free to love. We are encouraged to live by the Spirit in true freedom of love for others. We want to do this, but how?
Today’s Prayer Practice
One of the questions many spiritual direction and coaching clients struggle with is What name does God call you by? They know the church answer of being God’s child. But their heart answer, that is truly knowing if God were to write you a love letter, how would God address you in the salutation of the letter? Some possibilities may be: “Dear Brenda” — somehow, I think God would be more lavish with love. What about – “My dearly cherished child, Brenda.” Or perhaps, “My beloved daughter, son insert your name.”
God truly wants us to be set free to love others as we know we are deeply loved in God. Take time this week to pause saying quietly to yourself the mantra of your Beloved name. Maybe it is “My sweet boy, I love you, my son.” Or “Darling Beloved daughter, you are my cherished one.” Spend a lengthy pause in prayer, as you repeat your cherished name from God.
Enjoy praying.
From this powerful, personal, beloved place of self-identity of being loved we are commissioned to embrace all others with a heart overflowing with God’s love.
From this powerful, personal, beloved place of self-identity of being loved and cherished by God we are set free to live by the Spirit gazing upon the other with the tender compassion of God’s eye view and embrace them with God love.
From this powerful, personal, beloved place of self-identity of being loved and cherished by God we are set free to live by the Spirit gazing upon the other with the tender compassion and care for this amazing beautiful gift of earth that we have been provided to sustain all of life.
To live a true life of freedom set free in Christ to live by the Spirit is when we are so saturated in God love that it impacts everything we do.
