Have you ever missed an opportunity that you wish you could get back? It could be anything from the littlest of things, like not noticing the slight intonation within a conversation to the bigger issues around love, loss, job, or health care. I have missed the possibilities for new life circumstance. This year with the pandemic many of us have missed things.
Sometimes we squander openings before us in life because we are afraid, or simply did not believe it was a really an option. Perhaps we did not even know there was an alternative choice! People and life circumstance can at time be pretty unforgiving when we miss an opportunity. There may be no going back.
This day in our Scripture we hear of one who missed a surprising opportunity.
The Scripture
On this first week of Easter resurrection, I wonder where Thomas was when the risen Christ appeared to the disciples in the Upper Room. (John 20:19 -31 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+20%3A19+-+31&version=NRSV ) The rest of the gang was behind locked doors in fear for their lives. Wonders may have swirled in their minds if the same torture and crucifixion that Jesus endured was to be their destiny as well.
But Thomas was not there. He was not locked in the room for fear of his life. Was he just late to the party? Was he braver than the rest? Could he have been out getting food and provisions for those that were more afraid than he? Was he detained by the authorities for questioning? Was his grief from Jesus’ death so profound that he needed extended time in solitary prayer in the hills near Jerusalem? Did he have family near by that needed his caregiving?
Everyone has a backstory of why opportunities are missed. These may be excuses, valid reasons, unknown circumstance, but whatever the backstory we cannot judge the one who misses out. We are not told Thomas’ reason for not being with the others on the first evening that the risen Christ appeared in the Upper Room. But sometime during the first week after Easter’s rising, Thomas joined the other disciples in the Upper Room.
Reaction to Missed Opportunity
I can imagine the scene when Thomas was reunited with the others in the Upper Room. Everyone rushing toward him in great excitement. Each passionately telling the story that Jesus was not dead, but risen from the grave and showed up HERE. Jesus talked to us, they say, and gave us reassurance that we were not just seeing things! He did the most remarkable thing. He breathed on us and told us to receive the Holy Spirit. His Spirit of love, creative energy, and power of peace.
Is that why the disciples are still in the Upper Room a full week latter, to tell Thomas the story? Were they awaiting Thomas’ return? Had they been praying for his safety? Did the reassurance and empowerment of Jesus’ Holy Spirit not take? Had they held their breath when Jesus breathed on them so that they did not get Jesus’ germs?
I can only imagine how Thomas felt standing there as he entered the Upper Room. With the buzz of conversation swirling around him as each told their experience of being with the resurrected Jesus. Was it shock, disappointment, bewilderment, sorrow, grief, anger for not being able to be present, that Thomas felt? Was he so disappointed in the missed opportunity to see the risen Lord that his grief hardened his heart, caused him to question the validity of the experience for the others?
Miraculous Moment
Regardless of how Thomas responded in the moment and the week between the risen Christ’s visits to the Upper Room, Jesus was not going to let him sit in his emotions. On the evening one week after resurrection for a second time the risen Jesus appeared to the disciples in the Upper Room. This time Jesus was intent on healing Thomas’ disappointment. It became a miraculous moment as the risen Jesus spoke with Thomas.
The risen Jesus showered Thomas with the same peace that he had all the others. And because Jesus knew of the depth of Thomas’ disappointment, Jesus initiated the healing process as he said:
Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” (verses 27-28, NRVS)
Jesus knew then and knows now how fragile our human faith can be. He knew how the depths of sorrow, disappointment, anger, and grief can pull a person from the foundational faith. And the risen Jesus says to us all, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”
Today’s Prayer Practice
Today you are invited to consider times throughout your life when you have experienced or are experiencing disappointment, anger, physical pain, suffering, or grief that threatened to pull you from your foundation of faith. Through praying silently in color, bring these moments of disillusionment to Jesus.
You may find the prayer mandala of your choice by entering “prayer coloring mandala sheets” into your browser. Or you may go to https://www.google.com/search?q=prayer+coloring+mandala+sheets&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1536&bih=754&ei=K8BxYJ72HPThxgHNqJTIDw&oq=prayer+coloring+mandala+sheets&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoICAAQsQMQgwE6BQgAELEDOgIIADoGCAAQCBAeUL0dWJFyYI14aAFwAHgBgAGXBYgBvCWSAQowLjI1LjQuNS0xmAEAoAEBqgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWewAQA&sclient=img&ved=0ahUKEwjet52U-_PvAhX0sDEKHU0UBfkQ4dUDCAc&uact=5 and choose a picture to color.
When you are finished coloring, gaze lovingly at your mandala and imagine how the risen Jesus longs to love you into a new interior freedom of peace. What will your release to Jesus? How is Jesus speaking to you? What is your profession of faith that you speak when you realize how deeply you are loved even through disappointment? Close your time of prayer with thanksgiving for the miraculous moment of possibility that Jesus provides to you through his peace.
Enjoy praying!
